I wannas sexs uuuuu
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
