I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
