I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
