You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
