we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
