Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
