There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
