2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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