saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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