she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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