my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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