We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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