I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
