He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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