I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
