We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
