I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
