A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
