i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
