I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
