I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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