Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
