I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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