and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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