i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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