can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
