i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
