no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
