u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
