you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
