it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
