windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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