Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
