Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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