And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
