he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
