I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
