yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
