Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
