I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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