she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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