Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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