so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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