All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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