yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
