problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
