help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
