Nicole vs. Life
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
