I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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