That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
