I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i believe in u and ur pee
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
