He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
