He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
