im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
