So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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