Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
