i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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